(Please bear in mind that this is a sample I used for older students when working on writing and presenting with style and pizazz (ala The Onion), not the boring “copying-directly-out-of-the-book-crap” they always do.)
Respected Principal Ma'am, Vice Principal Sir, teachers, and all my dear, dear friends. Today, I am going to recite a speech for you. (This intro is how EVERY CHILD starts a speech)
Do you ever feel like you are wasting time in the bathroom? Do you sit in silence, contemplating ways to make your morning routine more efficient? Obviously, these exact thoughts blurred through the minds of builders and contractors in most yet-to-be-fully developed countries, and the product of such mental exertion, the Shoilink, has taken much of the world by storm.
Have you ever felt the immense desire to shower while pooping? How about the burning impulse to shave your legs under a tap while peeing? Does washing your hands in a sink while washing the conditioner out of your hair in the shower sound like a time saving alternative in exchange for doing both in a non-concurrent fashion? How about washing your dirty/feces encrusted feet off with the toilet hose while plucking your eyebrows in the mirror?
Ponder no longer, dear friends. Thanks to the invention of a room that has it all (a shower, sink, and toilet, all within 1.567 steps of each other), you can do EVERYTHING AT ONCE!
-----The students thought this was a hoot and a half and laughed like crazy. Then the students told me how they multitask in the bathroom… and then I laughed like crazy!!!
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