Ms. K and the Rocket Scientist will finally be reunited!

I've achieved a major feat today. I managed to book my plane tickets to see Alexander over Christmas, and in the process, NOT ONCE did the internet go off, the power shut off, or the website respond with "We are sorry, but Clear Trip's system is behaving badly. Just like a person, sometimes Clear Trip has bad days." This never happens! Mad props to India for having everything work this time! Last time we tried to book something, it took Aileen and I weeks for it to finally work!

The Shoilink

(Please bear in mind that this is a sample I used for older students when working on writing and presenting with style and pizazz (ala The Onion), not the boring “copying-directly-out-of-the-book-crap” they always do.) 

Respected Principal Ma'am, Vice Principal Sir, teachers, and all my dear, dear friends. Today, I am going to recite a speech for you. (This intro is how EVERY CHILD starts a speech)

Do you ever feel like you are wasting time in the bathroom? Do you sit in silence, contemplating ways to make your morning routine more efficient? Obviously, these exact thoughts blurred through the minds of builders and contractors in most yet-to-be-fully developed countries, and the product of such mental exertion, the Shoilink, has taken much of the world by storm.

Have you ever felt the immense desire to shower while pooping? How about the burning impulse to shave your legs under a tap while peeing? Does washing your hands in a sink while washing the conditioner out of your hair in the shower sound like a time saving alternative in exchange for doing both in a non-concurrent fashion? How about washing your dirty/feces encrusted feet off with the toilet hose while plucking your eyebrows in the mirror?

Ponder no longer, dear friends. Thanks to the invention of a room that has it all (a shower, sink, and toilet, all within 1.567 steps of each other), you can do EVERYTHING AT ONCE!

-----The students thought this was a hoot and a half and laughed like crazy. Then the students told me how they multitask in the bathroom… and then I laughed like crazy!!!

Teacher's Day

Now, I’ve only celebrated one Teacher Appreciation Week (TAW) in the US, but I believe that I have had enough exposure to know that India’s traditional “Teacher Day” kicks America’s ass. Traditionally, the only ass-kicking India does to America is in the fields of science, maths, and curry. ;) But experiencing Teacher’s Day in India made me realize that America has nothing on lovin’ its’ teachers.

We feel APPRECIATED!

Where I taught in the US, TAW was celebrated with bagels Monday morning, a canceled Wednesday morning staff meeting, and a specialty coffee making lady on Friday morning. At the time, I was tickled pink with joy. Usually I like kind words to show that I’m appreciated, so free bagels and coffee blew my mind.

I received more roses from
students than I've ever
received from boyfriends!

That was, until I came to school on the 5^th of September. At first, I didn’t expect much. I just got in an autorickshaw and arrived at school like normal. But then the rickshaw driver didn’t charge me the normal 50 rupees (a little over a dollar). He just smiled and yelled something in Hindi and drove off. Walking into school, and throughout the rest of the day, I was hailed by children of all ages, bearing cards, roses, pens, smiles, high fives, elbow fives (I’m making that shit spread!) and the occasional chocolate (it is already well known that I’m a dark chocaholic). Teacher’s Day, it seems, is a day when students get the chance to hero worship their teachers, showering them with gifts, and begging them for their autographs.

He's me for the day :)

The best part came at morning assembly, where I was informed that students from 12 class would be acting like the teachers that day, taking our places in all our classes. I was replaced by a 12 class guy. Then, the students in charge (acting as the principal and vice principal) lead the teachers and students in rousing games of musical chairs, memory (Which I WON…mainly because the list of things to remember was in English!) and a singing competition, where a teacher would start singing a song, stop in a random part, and then the students would have to pick up where they left off. Hilarity ensued. Did we waste almost three hours of the school day? YES. Did I care? Ab-so-lute-ly NOT!

In the words of Charlie Sheen, "WINNING!"

After the students all left, the teachers had two hours of free time (class was let out early that day), so I spent time chatting with Shivali, a young woman who I adore. I also took the opportunity to learn how to do some Indian paper craft. It’s pretty sweet! After that, we were fed lunch…and I do love free food!

We are always behind...

But we are slowly catching up! If you go back to June, you can see our time in Seattle, to the Grand Tetons, and through Yellowstone...and eventually, I'll even start blogging about India again ;)